Marshmallow teeth tooth apple treats

What time is it? Tooth hurty.

Marshmallow teeth tooth apple treats

Do these horrify you as much as they do me?

Oh, the irony, it almost kills.  Last night while eating an apple, I cracked my tooth.  This morning I had my first (but probably not last) root canal, and I need to get a crown asap.  In the meantime, the tooth-doctor said not to eat any crunchy foods (no nuts, no carrots, no crunchy salads even), stick to soft foods (rice, eggs, pasta), and to chew on the good side of my mouth as much as possible (although she said it’s surprisingly difficult).  Drinking Nutella straight from the jar is a-ok!


Then I was the weirdo patient and asked if I could eat pizza while running tomorrow.  To her credit she took my question seriously (almost too seriously), and gave me the ok to eat pizza tomorrow but not to attempt it “competitively.”  (I felt like I became a “crazy patient” story with this question, and that maybe she only took it deadly seriously to make me feel even crazier.)


So, on the eve of the Pizza Run, I am mouth injured.  MOUTH INJURED.  I never thought it could happen to me.  If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s eating, and if there’s another thing I’m good at, it’s injuring myself, but I never thought I was better at injuring myself than eating.  But I will soldier through this like the patriot I am, and I will eat that pizza (not competitively), and I will finish those two miles and three slices, even if I have to run on one foot and chew on one side of my mouth!


As for those marshmallow peanut butter apple treats pictured above, basically I was looking for a picture of a tooth to include for the post, then I found this “recipe,” and since it’s almost Halloween I thought I’d share it instead of boring clipart of a tooth.  You’re supposed to use mini-marshmallows but I didn’t have those, and red apples for the “lips,” but I didn’t have those either, so my version is even more horrific than it’s supposed to be.  Plus it reminds me of the devil that cracked my tooth in the first place, so it’s horrifyingly full circle.


This cracked tooth thing is totally a true story, even though it sounds like I made it up to cover any eating inadequacies.  The further truth is I had no eating inadequacies until this very moment, but I still would have finished back-of-the-pack in the Pizza Run due to running inadequacies, of which I have many.  Share your dental problems in the comments!

7 thoughts on “What time is it? Tooth hurty.

  1. Danilo Torres

    Mouth injured?

    Oh, the injustice!

    What’s next world? Will you outlaw chocolate? Have Jeremy Stratham reveal that he is really just a very butch female Romanian weightlifter?

    But good for you! Damn the universe, full speed ahead to the Pizza Run. Tooth pain be damned!

    I figure the good karma should kick in shortly…

    1. WTFinish Post author

      Does breaking my tooth count as a bad run? And would bringing a blender to the race be considered cheating? PS I still haven’t had any solid foods since that apple last night. Protein shakes only means I’m hungry.

  2. Ben

    Sorry to hear about your training injury. (Yes, this is a training injury because you were training for an event that requires eating.) Good on you for soldiering on. In the same way that pacers help runners during races, maybe you need an eating pacer to pace your pizza consumption?

  3. Pingback: Race Recap – NYC Pizza Run, Sept 13, 2014 | Where's the Finish?

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