This last month has seen me go from the high of graduating PT to the low of realizing just how bad my injury still is.
The weekend after my last post I went to a wedding in Toronto and danced a bit too much. My favorite thing ever (that’s not food related) is dancing at a wedding. Almost immediately after leaving the dance floor my ankle swelled up so I hurried back to my hotel room to ice it. Will there ever come a day when getting a bucketful of ice at a hotel means I’m about to drink something?
The week after that I spent a lot of time on my feet baking cookies for a wedding shower (unrelated to above), and once again my ankle was regularly swollen and hurting as much as it was months ago. The week after that it wasn’t much better, so I continued to ice it and rest it. That means I haven’t run even a few steps since my trial over a month ago. If you think my self-image has bounced back from this yet, it hasn’t.
This week, almost 19 weeks after the initial injury, my ankle feels… not great. There are many more moments of the day when it hurts than it did a few weeks ago. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not going to PT anymore, or if I’ve been too lax with the at-home exercises, or because something is seriously f’ed up in my ankle, so I’ve scheduled another appointment with an orthopedic doctor for next week so I can get it re-evaluated. I just don’t think this kind of pain and disability after 4 months is normal for even a badly sprained ankle. If it is, I’m going to need some Zoloft with my ankle therapy.
Till then, I’m still planning on walking the Bronx 5K this weekend, because I’m still (foolishly?) trying to qualify for the NYC Marathon by doing the 9+1. A part of me wonders why I’m trying to qualify for something that honestly seems impossible right now. I’m missing the Clarence Demar Marathon in New Hampshire this weekend, and will miss the Hartford Marathon in Connecticut in a couple weeks (because their time cutoff is a strict 6 hours, and even if I could cover 26 miles, I couldn’t keep up that 13:44 minute/mile pace). I doubt I’ll try to make my first marathon post-injury the Baton Rouge Beach Marathon, only because it would be a week before my bucket list trip to Patagonia and I don’t want to risk hurting myself before such an expensive and long-planned trip. With the other marathons I’ve already missed this summer, that will make 5 marathons in 5 states that I won’t be able to do this year. (And you runners know that’s about $500 worth of registration fees I’ll never see again, either.) When I realized all that last week, it hit me really hard. I know it’s just life, I know unexpected bad things happen, but goddamn it sucks.
On the plus side, I’m still doing the occasional spin class and even did a couple of rowing classes, which were great but they took a lot out of me. Is that because of my ankle or because I’m so out of shape? Yes.
Do you have a favorite cookie recipe? Are you enjoying the last gasp of summer? Are you finding yourself adrift since Bachelor in Paradise concluded? Share in the comments!